Monday, December 20, 2004
Just Stuff
Our inside life plays out simultaneously against the background of everyday outside life. Things intertwine. My depression about money outside colors how I act inside.
Inside lately I’m prone to drinking, a behavior I’m thankfully not compelled to display outside. We’re not sleeping well, probably due to Taya’s nocturnal forays and explorations.
We have a lot to accomplish for our clients. Just as we get caught up a whole new set of problems and projects appears. We’re great at multitasking though. Last night we solved a website crisis as we were talking on the phone with a client. By the time he wound down explaining what he wanted we were already uploading his page with its changes.
This time of year there are other pressures too. Finding creative solutions for Christmas gifts is one. We decided to give wreaths and cookies. We still have pine to gather to finish the wreaths and Lillie bakes several batches of cookies almost every day. Of course everyone in the family is enjoying them too, including which ever Q is up. We each feel entitled to our favorites. el just downed three peanut butter cookies. Baby and Gwen tasted ‘just a few’ chocolate chip cookies earlier, and I ate two sugar cookies for breakfast. At this rate we won’t have any clothes that fit by Christmas.
Eyvonne is working extra hours because people at her workplace are taking days off to get holiday shopping etc. done. Which means we aren’t. (Getting our holiday shopping done). Which is OK, we have less than $30 to spend on each of our kids. Wonder what a yuppie kid would make of that? Shock. Heart attack. Despair. We’d make good Whos. Dr. Suess would have loved us.
Sarah and I strung lights along the porch a few days ago. It was freezing. The wind growled up the mountain and beat on us. By the time we were done neither of us could feel any fingers. But we hopped out into the yard to see our work. Somehow two pathetic strings of blue and red lights made it feel like Christmas. It snowed a few nights later and perfected the look.
I want to get out and walk the woods, see what kind of tracks I can find in the snow. I used to walk everyday, sometimes for miles. It might be good if I start doing that again, even if it’s just so we can keep eating cookies.
This week final exams will be done and Thunder will come home for a month. Lillie checked his room this morning to make sure there weren’t mice nesting in his bed or something. It wasn’t too bad. There were some sunflower seed hulls in one of his shoes. If we have time we’ll sweep before he gets home. The noise will make a statement to the mice.
We have friends nearby who have a winery. His father is Jewish and his mother Cuban. She’s part Iroquois and Scottish. Their three kids are gorgeous. She’s graduating as an RN this Saturday, which makes it tough because the whole family has embraced his faith and this is normally their Sabbath. Until a few years ago she and the kids celebrated Christmas. Now they all celebrate Hanukkah. Like us they represent a lonely cultural diversity in this extremely rural place.
He went along with us to a meeting this week. We’ve known him for years, but never disclosed that we are multiple. He’s gregarious fellow, always talking and laughing. “Between the two of us we double the cultural diversity of this board. I’m Jewish and Hispanic and you’re Indian,” he said. Then he thought a moment and added, “And you’re a lesbian!”
“It’s weirder than that,” I told him. “I’m a multiple personality.”
He pondered that a moment.
“You mean you’re more than one person?”
“Bingo. Some of us are guys. I’m a guy. I relate to Eyvonne as a guy.”
I reached over and shook his hand. “Hi I’m Shel,” I said.
He laughed as we shook hands.
“Do I know more of you?”
“Yeah, you know el, and Lillie,” I said.
He was quiet for at least a mile, a record for him.
Nothing much changed. We had as much fun as ever. I serve as vice-president of the organization we were involved with that day. No one on the board knows. I wondered what they would think if they did. It’s really not such a big deal. I think some of them would be relieved to know. They can’t figure out how I get so much done for this organization, volunteer in so many others and balance clients. If only I could figure out how to get paid for more of my activities.
After the meeting we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch. There are pockets of cultural diversity 30 miles from our mountains. It was kind of funny how my friend took my disclosure in stride. We still laughed at the same weird kind of things. We talked about his faith, my faith, his kids, my kids, his wife… my wife.
This year I wanted to get rings, one for me and one for Eyvonne. Identical rings. So people can see we are a couple. When I brought the idea up she asked if we could have a ceremony, if we could ask our friend who is chief of our tribe to bind us together in the age old manner of our culture.
It settled something inside. I felt something relax I hadn’t realized was tense. We’re planning on having ceremony in the Labyrinth this spring. It feels right.I wonder if by then the Qs lurking on the edge of my consciousness will have come in like Link and Taya. I hope so. It’s time.
© 2004 M. S. Eliot
Inside lately I’m prone to drinking, a behavior I’m thankfully not compelled to display outside. We’re not sleeping well, probably due to Taya’s nocturnal forays and explorations.
We have a lot to accomplish for our clients. Just as we get caught up a whole new set of problems and projects appears. We’re great at multitasking though. Last night we solved a website crisis as we were talking on the phone with a client. By the time he wound down explaining what he wanted we were already uploading his page with its changes.
This time of year there are other pressures too. Finding creative solutions for Christmas gifts is one. We decided to give wreaths and cookies. We still have pine to gather to finish the wreaths and Lillie bakes several batches of cookies almost every day. Of course everyone in the family is enjoying them too, including which ever Q is up. We each feel entitled to our favorites. el just downed three peanut butter cookies. Baby and Gwen tasted ‘just a few’ chocolate chip cookies earlier, and I ate two sugar cookies for breakfast. At this rate we won’t have any clothes that fit by Christmas.
Eyvonne is working extra hours because people at her workplace are taking days off to get holiday shopping etc. done. Which means we aren’t. (Getting our holiday shopping done). Which is OK, we have less than $30 to spend on each of our kids. Wonder what a yuppie kid would make of that? Shock. Heart attack. Despair. We’d make good Whos. Dr. Suess would have loved us.
Sarah and I strung lights along the porch a few days ago. It was freezing. The wind growled up the mountain and beat on us. By the time we were done neither of us could feel any fingers. But we hopped out into the yard to see our work. Somehow two pathetic strings of blue and red lights made it feel like Christmas. It snowed a few nights later and perfected the look.
I want to get out and walk the woods, see what kind of tracks I can find in the snow. I used to walk everyday, sometimes for miles. It might be good if I start doing that again, even if it’s just so we can keep eating cookies.
This week final exams will be done and Thunder will come home for a month. Lillie checked his room this morning to make sure there weren’t mice nesting in his bed or something. It wasn’t too bad. There were some sunflower seed hulls in one of his shoes. If we have time we’ll sweep before he gets home. The noise will make a statement to the mice.
We have friends nearby who have a winery. His father is Jewish and his mother Cuban. She’s part Iroquois and Scottish. Their three kids are gorgeous. She’s graduating as an RN this Saturday, which makes it tough because the whole family has embraced his faith and this is normally their Sabbath. Until a few years ago she and the kids celebrated Christmas. Now they all celebrate Hanukkah. Like us they represent a lonely cultural diversity in this extremely rural place.
He went along with us to a meeting this week. We’ve known him for years, but never disclosed that we are multiple. He’s gregarious fellow, always talking and laughing. “Between the two of us we double the cultural diversity of this board. I’m Jewish and Hispanic and you’re Indian,” he said. Then he thought a moment and added, “And you’re a lesbian!”
“It’s weirder than that,” I told him. “I’m a multiple personality.”
He pondered that a moment.
“You mean you’re more than one person?”
“Bingo. Some of us are guys. I’m a guy. I relate to Eyvonne as a guy.”
I reached over and shook his hand. “Hi I’m Shel,” I said.
He laughed as we shook hands.
“Do I know more of you?”
“Yeah, you know el, and Lillie,” I said.
He was quiet for at least a mile, a record for him.
Nothing much changed. We had as much fun as ever. I serve as vice-president of the organization we were involved with that day. No one on the board knows. I wondered what they would think if they did. It’s really not such a big deal. I think some of them would be relieved to know. They can’t figure out how I get so much done for this organization, volunteer in so many others and balance clients. If only I could figure out how to get paid for more of my activities.
After the meeting we went to a Chinese buffet for lunch. There are pockets of cultural diversity 30 miles from our mountains. It was kind of funny how my friend took my disclosure in stride. We still laughed at the same weird kind of things. We talked about his faith, my faith, his kids, my kids, his wife… my wife.
This year I wanted to get rings, one for me and one for Eyvonne. Identical rings. So people can see we are a couple. When I brought the idea up she asked if we could have a ceremony, if we could ask our friend who is chief of our tribe to bind us together in the age old manner of our culture.
It settled something inside. I felt something relax I hadn’t realized was tense. We’re planning on having ceremony in the Labyrinth this spring. It feels right.I wonder if by then the Qs lurking on the edge of my consciousness will have come in like Link and Taya. I hope so. It’s time.
© 2004 M. S. Eliot
